Gorgeous Boss Babes I am really grateful to be able to share these words from “The Ominous Mum” about her experience with anxiety, also remember to talk to someone and be honest about how you are feeling…
How am I right now? Not okay. And I am fine with admitting that. I don’t see myself as weak because I’m currently saying; “Hey, my life is upside down and I don’t know where I’ll be in 12 months and because of that my anxiety is fucking destroying me”. Nope. I am just saying I feel shit. But I have the tools and knowledge to be okay. And by saying it out loud I don’t need to keep it to myself. And we shouldn’t need to keep it in. Still there is that bloody stigma that if you say I’M NOT OKAY, that you will be judged. I don’t think saying you aren’t okay should be something people are to judge, its more a reflection of the type of human that judges someone who puts their hand out for help and passes judgement instead of being kind. Anxiety is hell. And your anxiety won’t be like my anxiety. And your road isn’t the same road I have travelled. My anxiety takes a hold of my chest and my mind once my heart has been hurt and it slowly chokes everything until I am nothing.
When you’re not okay, you need to make yourself a priority and do whatever needs to be done to be okay. I’ve really found myself in my 30’s. I met my husband when I was so young and we built and have lived a crazy life. I always kept myself busy and working, and then I lost myself when I had children and that was fine. But a year ago it wasn’t and I really started to make those changes. Nutritional changes. Active changes. And mentally, I’m still battling with that challenge. I am getting closer to really being okay with my life and decisions. I don’t need anyone to talk to, I need to just work on me. Those who I do talk to are the greatest women I have ever met and I value their thoughts so much because they help me think and I am so very blessed to know them. So many others raise their hands for help sometimes too, so here are some tips I find work for me.
- Breathe; the power of learning to breathe is incredible. It’s not a joke. It does work when you take a step back and focus on you. Learn to BREATHE. There are so many brilliant apps for this these days. Check out Smiling Mind .
- Learn to say NO; seriously, NO! No, no, no. Once you say it those first few times it gets easier. Because so many of us always say yes. We literally take on too much in our lives, and why? To please others. What about us? I’ve found NO easier to say the older I have gotten. It really does help. No means, you do not need to take on the responsibilities of others. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you that person who doesn’t need to people please constantly anymore. That is good for YOU.
- You time is crucial; I cannot push this point enough. You NEED alone time. You need to be with yourself and do something that makes you happy. You NEED that walk or run. You NEED that coffee alone on the beach with music or a book. I know this is hard for most and especially some single parents, but wherever you can please take that time for you. It took me 30 years of life, 10 years with the same guy, 2 kids and a life time of shitty decisions to finally stop, breathe and think; I DO NOTHING FOR ME. Don’t be like me!
- Your feelings and thoughts ARE valid; do not let someone tell you they are not. We are all entitled to our own opinions and so are you. No one (except maybe your shrink, and they guide and don’t tell) can tell you how you are actually feeling. They can’t tell you that your perception of something is wrong. They can disagree with it and that is where you need to feel at ease that not everyone will share the same thoughts as you. Never second guess yourself. If you are truly happy with you, then you have no reason to doubt yourself.
- Leave behind what doesn’t make you happy, no matter how hard; this is the hardest, and most cleansing part of being truly happy. Although it is sad; people change. I have changed. My friends have changed. My husband, and family have all changed. It’s what happens. What and who doesn’t make you a better version of yourself are not worth being in your life. I don’t need negativity or people who put me down. I need people who pick me up and help me grow. And you do too!
- Be okay with not being okay; probably the most important. Be okay with not being okay. Because, it is okay. Really! If you can’t do what you need to alone, reach out. Those who love you will guide and help you. If you really aren’t okay go see your GP, the wonders of modern medicine are there to help us when there is nothing else. You aren’t weak, you are human.
You are amazing. You are capable of more than you think. You deserve respect and love. You deserve happiness. You deserve a good life; so do not be your own worst enemy. Links to mental health sites below.